My parents had divorced when I was about 5 and soon after that we moved to Ft. Worth with my grandparents. In the early 80’s my mom met and married a man whom was in the oil business. They packed us (my sister and I) up in the car and moved us to the small West Texas town of Abilene.
Abilene is known for the 3 faith based universities and therefore referred to as the “Bible Belt of Texas.” My parents occasionally attended a local Baptist church on Sunday mornings, but not on a regular bases. This particular church still carries the same southern values, everyone still dresses in their Sunday best and is very social, since we were a small lower middle class family, I never really felt like I “fit in.” I still remember going to Sunday school class and having to read the bible story in front of my peers, and being embarrassed because I was never a strong reader. This really did not help to develop my relationship with God.
By the time I turned 13, my life had gone down a different path. My Mother and Step Father divorced, my grandmother, whom I was very close to died and I began to spiral out of control. My teenage years were not good ones and it is truly by the Grace of God that I even survived.
At 19 I became pregnant with my daughter Morgan and at 20 I was a single mother on food stamps, trying to survive. I remember returning to the same church I had attended as a child, just after I had Morgan. I just sat there in the church pew with tears in my eyes threw the service, once again lost and ashamed.
I later met my husband Adam and we married over a year later. We will be celebrating our 9th year together this Friday. I truly believe leaving Abilene was the best thing for me, in a since leaving the past behind you.
You might be asking yourself, why is she sharing all of this very personal information on her blog, at this time? Well, I believe that your past doesn’t define who you are, but are “Gods little obstacles“ that help you become who you are, these life lessons have laid the foundation for the person that I have become today.
I am truly a “work in process,” I am learning things as I go. I am trying to be the best woman, wife, and parent that I can be by learning from my own mistakes. I must admit I truly have to stop and laugh at myself from time to time though, because I do seem to handle little things differently that some of my friends, which you might see in the weeks to come. But hopefully still learning as I go.
- ▼ 2009 (30)